What the Years Get You

I'm staying with a friend at her apartment while on a business assignment away from home. She has two cats and a dog that I have come to know and look forward to petting when I get here. The guest room is familiar and inviting. She always has a few things on hand because she knows I enjoy them... like late night chocolate and seasonal berries for breakfast.
What I love about a friendship that has grown over years has been described by a poet in a line I vaguely recall as 'the unexpressible comfort'. We know how to say, Do you want some of this, are you done with your plate, what else do you need, without having to wonder whether we are overly imposing or being a 'good host.'
Both are committed to each other's happiness and comfort, and both are empathetic about life's imperfections and our own rambling paths.

We can have a light conversation or a deeper one. We can create separate apace in the apartment so she can get rest while I am on an earlier time zone. She can tell me what's important about locking the door or turning off lights so I can come and go. We can share understanding about the people and situations in our lives. We look forward to seeing each other and have a good time.

This is not rocket science, this is not fireworks or life-changing like falling in love. It is also not the same comfort I had with many friends when there were many friends around in the full press of adulthood. It is knowing who has stuck, who will accept me because they have done so, who holds a similar loyalty to me that I hold to them. It's not many people, it's not acquaintances. In addition to the friend I am visiting now, it's the few people with whom I will make plans and go visit or enthusiastically host.

It is a little bit of a surprise who my close friends are now, compared to the people with whom I spent many hours and passages assuming it would continue indefinitely. A few have stayed and we're easy.

This is what long term friendship turns out to be. A treasure that cannot be found except through the span of time.